There are times you really hat the London Underground and the tinny voices apologosing for something that's not their fault. But this morning, the Victoria Line driver came out with a classic tannoy:
"This is your driver speaking. If you can find a seat, you'd better sit down. I've just been informed by our line controller that all lines are running a good service. There are no delays and no unplanned staion closures. And if you believe that, I've a beach property in Arizona you might be interested in."